The 1990s marked a significant cultural shift in the way society viewed relationships and traditions, including the concept of the engagement ring. While the engagement ring had long been a symbol of commitment and love in heterosexual relationships, the 90s ushered in an era where its meaning and design began to evolve. Non-traditional relationships—be they same-sex, polyamorous, or otherwise outside the mainstream—started to gain visibility and acceptance. With this change came a new perspective on the role of the engagement ring, as these relationships began to reimagine what engagement and commitment meant on their own terms.
During the 90s, the world saw growing acceptance of LGBTQ+ rights, and with it came the need to redefine the norms of engagement and marriage. In the past, the engagement ring had been largely marketed as a symbol of a man’s promise to a woman—a clear-cut representation of monogamy and heterosexual union. However, the expanding visibility of non-traditional relationships prompted many to rethink these old conventions. People in same-sex relationships began to adopt the engagement ring, but with a twist. It was no longer about one partner proposing to another in the traditional sense; instead, both partners might exchange rings, symbolizing equality and mutual commitment.
The emergence of these non-traditional relationships also meant a rethinking of the engagement ring’s design. While the traditional diamond solitaire engagement ring remained popular, many couples in the 90s opted for rings that reflected their unique identities and relationships. Alternative gemstones, different metals, and non-matching rings all became part of the new engagement vocabulary. Customization became key, as these couples sought out designs that reflected their personal stories rather than adhering to a cookie-cutter template.
This era also saw the rise of other relationship models, such as polyamory, where the idea of commitment wasn’t confined to just two people. For some, the engagement ring was still a meaningful symbol, but it took on a more personalized interpretation. A polyamorous triad, for example, might have custom rings designed to represent the bond between all three individuals, or they might opt for other forms of jewelry entirely. The point was that the traditional rules no longer applied; it was about creating a symbol of commitment that made sense for the relationship in question.
The 90s also witnessed the influence of feminism and its role in redefining engagement practices. Many women were increasingly uncomfortable with the patriarchal undertones of the traditional engagement ring, where the man was expected to buy a ring and propose to the woman. Some feminist couples chose to forgo the engagement ring altogether, or they opted for more equitable alternatives, such as each partner exchanging rings or both contributing to the selection of a shared ring. The emphasis was on mutual respect and equality, rather than on a one-sided proposal.
This decade’s shift in perspective regarding the engagement ring wasn’t just limited to romantic relationships, either. Friendship rings and commitment rings between close friends, siblings, or even within chosen families became more common. The 90s saw a rise in the idea that commitment could extend beyond romantic partnerships, and the engagement ring, in various forms, became a way to celebrate these bonds.
In conclusion, the 90s brought a wave of change to the traditional symbolism of the engagement ring. Non-traditional relationships played a significant role in reshaping how society views commitment, marriage, and the role of jewelry in these unions. Whether through same-sex partnerships, polyamorous unions, or feminist rejections of outdated norms, the engagement ring in the 90s became a versatile and evolving symbol. It was no longer just a mark of monogamous, heterosexual love; it had transformed into a reflection of the diverse ways people connected, committed, and celebrated love in all its forms. This shift laid the foundation for the continued evolution of engagement traditions in the years to come.